


How Can Barry Winstyles Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real

by mccallmedaddy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M, don't read this if you get easily offended obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 13:57:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1607621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mccallmedaddy/pseuds/mccallmedaddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a thot so Louis gets revenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Can Barry Winstyles Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real

**Author's Note:**

> Don't read this if you're easily offended! Do a flip instead!

“Louis please shove your bologna pony into my bussy pleaseeee” Harry whined.   
“That fufu gay shit I ain’t with it gratata” Louis replies.  
“Impregnate me!” Harry screams.   
“Despite what those ugly soft Harry girls say, YOU DON’T HAVE A UTERUS” Louis screams back.

*************

“Oh yeah that feels so good keep going Harry my lord and savior” Ben Winston moans.  
Louis opens the door “I HATE NIGGERS” he screams.  
“Louis! Ben and I were just working on the new music video!” Harry says  
“Oh you’re gonna eat Ben’s ass in the video? Just like in every other video? Kys and film it Harry.”  
Zayn walks up to Louis and hands him a blunt. “Ben Winston a thot” he says while blowing out smoke. Zayn is cool.

***************  
“I’ll show Harry who can get the most man pussy!” Louis goes to Nick Grimshaw’s house.   
“Nick I need to do gay shit with you”  
“Okay let me get my feathered anal beads and my sequin dildo.”  
“I hate faggots” Louis sighs.

Louis shoves his dick in Nick’s loose butthole. Dylan O’Brien walks in.   
“No homo tho right boys!”   
“Don’t worry Dylan this is technically bestiality” Louis replies.  
“All good then! Carry on!” Dylan says.

Right when Nick is about to explode his baby juices all over Louis, they hear Drake music and crying.  “Liam come out of there!”   
The closet door opens to reveal Liam crying and cutting himself while eating three Big Macs at once.   
“Jesus Liam what happened to you” Nick says.  
“He’s become a fan of Demi Lovato, if you know what I mean” Louis says.  
“She’s so inspirational” Liam sobs.  
“Get the fuck out pussy bitch!” Louis shouts.  
“Do I have to leave too Louis?” Niall asks. He’s been sitting in the corner trying to suck his own dick for the past 16 hours.  
“No Niall, you can stay.” Louis says. “It would be rude to kick out a “special” kid” he whispers to Nick. 

**************

“Piss on me Louis, fucking piss on me!” Nick screams.  
“That’s too gay for me Nick”  
“Harry used to piss on me he loved it”  
“Fine open your ugly mouth so I can piss in it.”   
Just as Louis positions his yogurt slinger over Nick’s mouth, Eleanor walks in.

“Louis what the fuck I told you to stop being gay!” She pushes Louis off the bed and puts her hairy love taco on Nick’s face. “Eat me out or I’ll fucking murder you!” She puts a gun to his head.  
“Where the fuck is the prostate?” Nick asks.  
“Faggots are the worst!” Eleanor and Louis say in unison. “Awww” they smile at each other.   
Suddenly, Harry busts in. “You have got to be kitten me right meow!” He giggles at his own joke for 10 minutes while everyone stares at him.  “Harry please get shot.” Louis tells him. Harry pouts.  
“Louis my love my sunshine my savior you’re the only reason I don’t cut myself! You’re my baby hedgehog! Look at your cute little bunny teethers!”  
“Eleanor, hand me the gun.” Louis says. “This will teach you to miss me with that gay shit.” First he shoots Harry, then Grimmy, then Ben Thotson, then Eleanor, then Liam, and then Niall.  
“Zayn, will you do the honors?” Louis asks.  
“Yeah whatever” Zayn shoots Louis in the head and then lights up a joint.   
“Does this mean I have to join Magcon?” he sighs. 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Give me hate @grimkys


End file.
